Nemesisies Make the Best of Friends
by The-BlAcKShEeP-Daughter
Summary: When the offspring of Joker and Harly Quinn meets and makes friends with the newest member of the bat family things get a bit crazy. Alot of batXjoker. Oh and irony and puns galore. story by the-blacksheep-daughter and InuFire
1. Chapter 1

It was a cold night in Gotham City, another foster home that sucked completely! My foster parents are pieces of work, Frank was a drunk and Molly was a crack whore- literally. I was one out of five; there are two boys and two girls: Harry, Genny, Lance, and Gwen.

They were good kids but they get in trouble… a lot.

'I can't wait to be eighteen and get out of here.' I thought to myself.

There was a loud crash from the living room and feet pounding on the floor,

"What the fuck was that noise?" yelled Frank, my bedroom door opened and in ran the children. "Susie!" they cried to me with fear in their eyes, "what do we do?" Harry asked his large green eyes stared at me.

I replied "Don't worry, I'll handle it, stay here."

I smiled at them and walked out of my room.

At the top of the stairs stood Frank, "What the hell was that noise, you stupid bitch?"

I held my tongue even though I wanted to wipe the sneer off that disgusting man's face. I looked into the living room and saw the mess from one of the vases that had fallen. I looked back at him as he walked down a few stairs.

"I bumped into a vase and it fell." I stated simply, giving Frank a blank look.

He stormed down the rest of the stairs and grips my arm painfully. He pulled me into the living room looked at the glass on the floor and then looked at me. He spun me around and smacked my face.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Frank yelled shoving me to the floor, "I want you the fuck out of here you stupid little bitch!"

He started to kick me; once he was done I limped out the door.

"Great, now I have to wait for him to calm down before I can go back." I said to myself as I walked by an alley near the foster home.

I walked for half hour trying not to grimace from the pain and listening to the group of boys that had been following me since I left the home.

I took a deep breath and turned to confront them, they looked at me a smirked.

"Well, well boys looks like we got ourselves a fiery one." Laughed what I guessed to be the leader of their 'gang.'

They moved towards me and before they knew it they were on the ground.

"Yea, you got a woman who can kick your sorry asses any day so beat it." I said as I made my way to the home.

I must have missed a few because next thing I saw was a fist coming towards me, I dodged the fist but fell into the arms of one of my attackers.

"Now listen here you fucking bitch, no one and I me no tells me what the fuck to do!"

I smirked as he punched me in my gut.

'Jeez, what's with men calling me a bitch today?' I thought to myself.

Then out of the shadows I heard a noise, my attackers clearly didn't heard the sound.

Until a gruff voice spoke, "How about I tell you what to do?"

The boys dropped me and I nearly fell to the ground.

"SHIT IT'S BATMAN!" Some of the boys yelled and ran off, the leader clearly was an idiot because he looked like he wanted to go up against the Dark Knight.

'Who's the stupid fuck now bitch?' I giggled to myself, grimacing from the pain.

Batman didn't even have to move and the leader fainted, then I laughed out loud and said, "Pussy."

I turned towards Batman, "Thank you Bats." I smiled at him; it appeared that he was trying to make sure I was not in too much of a bad shape.

"I'm fine." I whispered trying not to sound weak.

"Clearly." Was the only answer I received and so I turned and began to go.

"How did you get hurt before those morons attacked you?" I stopped and turned my head towards him.

'Morons' I thought, 'Only teenagers and their parents use that word.'

I looked him in the eye and said, "I fell while playing with the foster family."

I could tell that he didn't believe me.

"What's your name?"

That I was not expecting, shock was written all over my face.

"Susannah Alexzandria." I said simply.

"Susannah Alexzandria what?"

I smiled once again and said, "No last name." I walked away not bothering to see if he was still there are not.

I finally made it back home and entered the house, it was quite so I walked to my room fell asleep after popping two Tylenol.

I watched the young woman leave. I deiced to follow her home to make sure everything was okay. The house was falling apart and dirty, I could hear a man and woman yelling at one another.

So the man was abusive, I'll tell Gordon and let him handle this.

But that girl could fight pity that she most likely learned to protect herself from people who wished to harm her.

I headed back to the Bat cave and informed Alfred of my discovery.

"Well Master Bruce, she seems like a strong young woman, pity that she will be shoved right back into the foster care once the police find out."

What is he getting at I wondered.

"Alfred, whatever do you mean?" I said with a smirk on my face.

"Well sir, she needs a guardian, one who can help her with her life, she seems to like other children…"Alfred left off picking up the batsuit and checking for rips.

"I suppose I can adopted her, the boys will like to have a girl around I'm sure. Isn't that right boys?"

A crash sounded thought out the cave and a loud "Yes!" was heard as feet ran up the stairs.

A Few Days Latter

She looked shell-shocked and panicky, like she couldn't believe that this was real.

I smirked and the boys laughed, Alfred brought her things into the house.

"Well Susannah, we hope you like it here." I said as I walked into the Manor.

Two Months

'I can't believe this is happening to me.' I thought as I stared at the adoption papers that Bruce laid in front of me.

"You want to adopt me?" I asked with a small voice trying not to cry.

"Yes, Susie we want you to be in our family." Bruce laughed lightly; I still found it hard to believe that this guy was even Batman.

Boy were they shocked when I found the bat cave.

I became Sparrow soon after, helping Robin a.k.a. Dick Grayson and Batman, and along with them Jason Todd and Tim Drake.

I picked up the pen and signed my name!

"Susannah Alexzandria Wayne." I jumped from my seat and hugged Bruce, my new Dad. 'So totally cool!' Then headed to hug my brothers and Alfred.

One Year Later

I was at the coffee shop that was located on Gotham Academy, trying to consecrate from my psychology class. But my brothers were making very hard to do so.

"Guys I need to study." I said noticing that the café's door opened but I didn't look to see who had entered. "Hey Jay give me back my book!" I cried trying to remove Jason's hand, the stupid klepto.

I finally had enough and slammed my hands on the table "Go the fuck away before I tell Dad."

I was the only who ever called Bruce dad on a regular basis; the boys did it when they were really happy or sad.

They left and as they left I saw Jason give a girl a nasty look and she gave just as good as she got. She headed towards me books in hand with her drink, whatever it was smelled amazing.

"Hey can I sit here?"

I looked at her and said, "Sure why not you are probably better company than my brothers any day."

I laughed and so did she.

"You have something in your hair." I said

She laughed and tugged at it while saying "It is my hair."

Wow way to go Suze! "Hehe, by the way I'm Susannah Alexzandria Wayne and you are?" I held my hand out to her.

"Hi, I'm Jessie Liz Napier."

The reason why it says 'the foster home' is because it's not home to her.

God, that was long.


	2. Chapter 1 part 2

I walked into one of the coffee houses on Gotham academy campus with a few books in hand and my favorite white hot chocolate in the other hand.

As I walked in a kid, I believe his name was Jack or Jason Wayne, something like that, but anyway as I walked in he glared at me.

And well me being me I gave my meanest yet smuggest glare I had right back at him.

I stopped for a moment to watch the whole Wayne clan walk off, all but the newest Wayne.

From what I could tell Suzie was a nice girl with a lovely temper, we've had a few classes together and I feel she's the type of girl I could be friends with.. Although I've never really had any 'friends'

"Hey can I sit here?" I asked while pointing slightly to the chair in front of me.

She looked at me and gave a small smile "Sure why not you are probably better company than my brothers any day"

We both laughed as I put my books on the table.

Once I sat down shoe spoke up "You have something in your hair"

I laughed and tugged at the end of a piece of my hair "It is my hair"

She then joined in while I giggled

"Hehe, by the way I'm Susannah Alexzandria Wayne and you are?" She spoke while putting out her hand for me to shake it.

I told it happily "Hi, I'm Jessie Liz Napier"

Later that day…

I hummed as I walked home, Suz was a very awesome person, the talk we had was great it turned out we were so alike yet different from each other.

"Damn Bats to hell!"

I giggled softly to myself as dad continued to rant.

Dad growled and picked up B-man Jr. "Why can't you play by the rules for once!"

I gasped as my father threw my stuffie of Batman.

"Just cuz one of your plans didn't work, daddy, doesn't give you the right to beat up B-man Jr.!" I yelled as I pick my childhood cuddle buddy off the ground.

My mom, Harley Quinn, gave it to me when I was little as a sort of irony.

Dad stood straight in front of me with a bloody knife "Jessie, don't you dare use that tone with me"

I was able to stare him straight in the eye for about a minute till a grin broke out on my face "Why so serious daddy?"

That was it I was on the floor in a fit of giggles.

Dad's eyes lit up and he lost it just like I did.

After we regained ourselves I had the nerve to speak out of turn "So dad, what did Bats do this time?"

He pouted slightly "What do you think baby doll? He cheated at our game again, and your mother wasn't any help either"

"I'm sorry daddy, if there's anything I can help with…" I spoke before thinking.

You never say those seven words or the joker will take advantage.

The all too familiar grin graced my father's lips "There is one thing, I need a new plan to get bats and I've gotten word that he has a new side kick."

"Yeah her names Sparrow" I stated while still not fully getting what he was implying.

"I need a new side kick and who better than my own daughter!" He grinned while hugging me to his chest with the knife from before still in hand.

I mumbled an 'I can't breath' to get his attention.

"What was that baby doll?" He asked as he held me at arm length.

I smiled "Mom's not gonna like your idea"

"Who cares about your mother! I can see it now, my little girl taking those little birds down and bats grinning like the mad man he is!" Dad yelled while dance around the room with me in tow.

"Now pudding, we agreed that Jessie wasn't going to go into the family business till she became of age." Harley said from the door way.

Dad narrowed his eyes at her "Jessie is of age!"

"I won't have my only child being in jail!" Mom yelled at him and I slowly crept away from the fight.

After the two fought for about ten minutes I spoke up.

"Um, mom. I'!"

And I ran out of there before my mother could yell some more, yet in the distance I could hear my father yell "HA she choose me!"

One month later

So I finally have all have my plan together and my character put together.

Other than that Suz and I have became close friends, hell we even have a class together once midterms are other, I think its chemistry. And I sure as hell can't wait!

"So you ready for tonight baby doll?" Pop question as he poked his head in my room.

I smirked "I can't wait!"

He laughed and gave me a kiss on the forehead "Make daddy proud!"

I smiled till I took note of him staring at something "What?"

"We really have to get rid of that batman stuffed animal" He sighed.

I glared at him "You touch B-man Jr. I will not hastate to hurt you"

He grinned and went to grab B-man Jr. I bit the hand he was using to keep me in place.

When he figured out that I wasn't going to let go of his hand he hissed at me "Stop biting me now Jessie"

"Stop being an ass and I'll stop biting you" I growled back as I still held his hand in my mouth.

We glared at each other for a long time till he started to poke me in my ticklish spot. I ended up on the floor in a fit of giggles.

"Now be a good dolly and get changed for our party guests." Dad chuckled as he walked off humming the circus tune.

I quickly changed into my costume and put on a Grinch like smile.

"Time to get the show on the road."

Later around midnight

I sat in the king's throne as I waited for everyone to wake up.

"Who are you?" I heard coming from the other side of the chess board.

I looked to see sparrow was the one who had spoken and her two partners in crime where starting to wake up too.

"Names the Chester Jester! Nice to meetcha" I grin from ear to ear.

Batman spoke up "Another clown."

My grin dropped and picked up again "Not a clown a Jester! You are after all in the Jester Courts. Ya know you should smile a little more I mean I know you can after all you got smile wrinkles."

"What kind of name is the Chester Jester?" Robin asked sarcastically

I scoffed "What kind of name is Robin? At least I'm not a little birdie… now I wanna play bad-mitten"

"You're not very sane are you?" Sparrow asked with a smirk.

I gave a toothy smile back "I'm just as sane as the man who dresses up as a bat over there."

"Now if you'll all wait for a moment" I got up from my seat and stretched.

That's when I heard Sparrow mutter under her breath "It's not like we're going anywhere."

I turned all the lights on and yelled out the tent "The shows about to beggin! Come one come all; see the bat outta hell, the half boy half robin and the talking sparrow!"

Batman, Robin, and Sparrow gasped slightly.

I giggled as Joker and Harley came strolling in.

Daddy sat in the king's chair and mom in the queen's.

"So how do you like the newest Joker family member?" Daddy smiled and laughed once he saw where I put Batman.

Batman spoke in his normal gruff voice "This isn't something you'd plan Joker."

I stood in front of his eye slight. "Let me introduce myself properly" I paused and took a deep bow "The Chester Jester, only daughter of the Joker and Harley Quinn, and one true heir of the joker throne."

I stood straight "And as for who planned this, you're looking at her Batsy, after all I am a jester and it's my job to keep the king happy!"

"What the hell's going on!"

I looked over to the voice and face, it was Jim Gordon. "Oh I see the pawns are waking up!"

That's when everyone truly looked where they were.

"Oh this is wrong" Sparrow groaned as she saw, her and Robin where queen and king.

I giggled "You're not related!"

"How do you know?" Sparrow smirked

I got in her face "Cause you two don't look the same duh, or is there something you'd like to inform me about?"

"Baby doll, I think it's time to play our game." Dad yelled slightly annoyed.

After awhile of playing 'the game'

Batman just got free as throughout the game he was gently cutting threw the many ropes I had tied him up in.

Now my father, mother, and I spit up to make it easier to get away. Dad was chased by Batman, Mom was chased by Robin, and I was chased by Sparrow.

I cut right and then a sharp turn left, straight into dead end.

I huffed a giant sigh. "Great"

"Dead end C.J" Sparrow spoke proudly and slightly out of breath.

I smirked "You know that black armed suit doesn't fit you, I mean it has to weight a ton. Here try on my hat…"

She titled her head slightly in confusion till I showed a smoke bomb under my hat. I smirked then winked at her and quickly threw the bomb on the ground. As she coughed I threw one of my jiggle bombs at the brick wall that made my dead end.

"Check!" I yelled as I ran off.

The Next Day

"Hey Suz!" I yelled and caught up with her along with the whole Wayne clan.

She smiled and turned to wait "Hey, what's new?"

"Oh, you know same old same old" I smirked.

"So are you going to introduce us to your friend Susie?" The oldest boy Wayne asked.

I giggled and dragged Suz away to get my chocolate latte and a pumpkin muffin. As I was dragging her I saw as we lost the boys in the crowd.

I turned to her once we were in line, "Sorry to take you forcefully away from your family but I have a surprise for you!"

She didn't look to happy with me, so I pulled out a powder blue wrapped rectangle. It's was a book that I had found out she couldn't find anywhere and it just so happened that Dad had visited a rare book shop and I asked if I could have this book before he hurt it (hell now my room is filled with millions of books I don't want).

"Here, I got this for you, open!" I handed it to her happily.

She didn't say anything just slowly unwrapped it. I smirked as I saw her face light up.

"You did listen to my rant and about how much I wanted the book" She spoke while flipping a few pages.

"Legends of King Arthur by Richard Barber" I giggled "I know it by heart"

And then the friendly moment was popped by the Wayne clan, the asses.


End file.
